Unapologetically Me

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My complexities are dizzying
I don't quite belong anywhere
I'm not really the "sophisticate"; yet, I wouldn't call myself a hippie
definitely walk to the beat of my own drum, guitar, harp, or whatever happens to be playing in my head
I'm a lover of (most) music, lyrics over beats, sensual over sexual, consciousness over ratchet, real talent over mainstream, PRINCE over err-thang
Rap, jazz, indie, opera, classical, neo-soul, old-school, new-school, whatever school. There's always something to fit my mood.
Book lover....collector...hoarder..addict

Educated in some things: B.A, M.A, gotta get that PhD.; and yet, it still won't be enough to quench that thirst for knowledge inside of me.
Smart, dare I say BRILLIANT at times...BUT give me a math problem and you'd demand I give my degrees back.
Teacher to many. Inspiring the future while uninspired by the present.
Student of life, culture and FOOD.
World Traveler: I've seen a lot, but it's still not enough.
Mama to 4 (plus1), daughter to 2, sister to many, and friend to some.
To know me is to love me, but if you can't....move on!

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So I became someone's wife at twenty years old and became a mother slightly earlier than that. Most of my adult life my identity and existence had been tied to who I "belonged" to. Daughter of, mother of, wife of. Sadly, these labels were how I defined myself. Now, don't get me wrong, there is beauty, strength, and pride in each of these roles. We, as women wear many hats; and there is nothing shameful in that. However, there is danger in it. Losing one's self, or, perhaps worse, never having found one's self, is almost a tragedy of literary proportions.

It wasn't until a few years ago that I started to get a sense of who Syretta was. And, what I found is that I really like her. I'm funny (in a corny way), smarter that I ever gave myself credit for, and stronger than I could have ever imagined. Of course, there were things that I discovered about myself that I wasn't so thrilled about, like my innate need to please everyone, sometimes, at the expensive of my own happiness, and that I must speak up for myself more because no one else will.

I am still most of those things that use to define the entirety of my existence; however, I have realized that I am so much more. This poem barely delves into the complex personality that I am; it would take a lifetime (and maybe some therapy) to tackle that. However, writing this poem allowed me to explore different parts of myself and celebrate them, openly, honestly, unapologetically.